ScoopGods.com - Rush Limbaugh attempted to downplay the cause for the chest pains to reporters friday, indicating that his heart and arteries are fine.  According to Limbaugh, doctors could not determine the exact cause of his pain.  He even used the moment to take a shot at President Obama's massive effort to reform health care, saying he got the best medical care "right here in the United States of America." "I don't think there's one thing wrong with the United States health system."Limbaugh's new bundle of joy

However, it has been revealed that the real reason for Limbaugh's admission to the Honolulu hospital on Wednesday was a rare form of labor.  Rush actually has given birth to a tiny life form.  A massive effort to cover up the birth has been enacted in order to preserve Rush's stature as a the right wing radio king.  But hospital staff was forthcoming with information due to the fact that they considered it a "life changing experience" for all of them.

"He came in here all flustered and in pain," said a nurse, "but left in maternal bliss."

The little critter was gently cradled in Rush's hands in front of doctors for a period in the morning leading up to his press conference later in the day.  He was reported to be calling it "his little ditto-head."

"I never knew Rush had that side to him.  We yanked that little critter right out of his chest and you could see the motherly glow light up in Rush's eyes," said an unnamed doctor.

What the exact biological description of the little fellow is hasn't been disclosed, but it is believed that it was created asexually and only contains Limbaugh's genetic matter.  In the early stages of it's infancy the little worm like creature must be kept warm orally in the parents cheek.  Rush's cheeks have plenty of room to accommodate his offspring without even showing a bulge.

"He deposited it right between his cheek and gums without any prompting.  Rush showed the instinctual motherly urges right from the start," added the nurse.