ScoopGods.com - A group of fourteen college freshmen achieved the unthinkable last night when they were able to land a perfect asshole trifecta.  A trifecta of this sorts has the odds of striking only 1 in 100,904 times.  The incredible series of events initiated after the men realized that they were about to become members of Tri Delta Gamma.

"Fuck dude," said Joshua Martin. "We were standing there holding the dick of the rush member next to us and suddenly, the head frat brother says we're all members!  It was then that we knew that something special could happen."

The group immediately rushed out of the fraternity house to throw beer cans at unsuspecting pedestrians.  To their benefit, the campus was extremely quiet, which led to the second phase of the trifecta; the renting of a limo in an effort to propel their bThe Hummer Limo before the night began.ehavior to a larger range of humans.

"We knew that if we didn't have to drive and that we could just pull up to wherever and do whatever, we knew we could do something special," said Trevor Smith.  "We would be able to spread our behavior to the masses."

When the group arrived at the limo rental company and realized that there was a Hummer limo available, they knew that the trifecta was within their reach.  But there was one more obstacle, they didn't seem to have the money or someone old enough to legally rent the limo.

"Fortunately, the faggot behind the counter goes to our school and he is a pussy," said Martin. "We just threatened to beat him down if he didn't let us get it.  Whoooo Yeah Man!"

The group quickly piled into the limo and spent nearly three hours effectively living up to the trifecta that they had just pulled off.  

"Oh man, Austin and Taylor both took dumps in the limo!  It was awesome, " continued Martin. "That ride is going to wreak from some time!  Man, we all got so wasted."

With the trifecta behind them, the group feels that they will have more chances to achieve asshole greatness.  

Smith finished with "I think we're on a run that is capable of showing the world something it hasn't seen since the days of the Roman Empire.  Pure fucking domination."