ScoopGods.com - To most, a riot is unpleasant and frightening.  But to one US company, it's fucking awesome. The company you ask? Well, it's a steel baton manufacturer who has an exclusive contract with the Iranian security forces and when there's tension, business booms, literally.

"I've got a super hot, 25-year-old wife because of a bunch of angry Arabs," said Bob Posko, CEO of Hughes Security Company.  "Last year we had profits of 18 million and 80% of that was from Iran.  This weekend alone has brought in $1.2 million in rush orders.  One of my batons knocks a kid's teeth out over there and I'm over here romping like a porn star."

Hughes Security Company has approximately 5000 of their "Crazy Arab" steel batons in circulation with Iran's security forces and an additional 324,000 throughout the region and Posko says his company is prepared for more all out skull-cracking, blood spattering action.

"Oh, this baton has brought me much respect," said Mohak Madbud Moreck Labuda Mashon Gulab Shokor Muhammed Baram Moohamed BeshKeshPa Bunka Mohammed, a soldier in Iran's elite baton team.  "I have been able to kill innocent grown men with a little, feminine-like tap anywhere on their skull.  It is really quite amazing."

The company makes a home version of the baton designed to help the man of the house keep the wife and kids in line.  It's capable of introducing unconsciousness with the simplest of taps and never leaves a mark.

For more information, visit: http://batonskickass.com